


Torn

by Dranira



Category: Naruto
Genre: Adopted Sibling Relationship, Anxiety, Fear, Forgiveness, Friendship, Gen, Love, Returning Home
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-09
Updated: 2017-10-01
Packaged: 2018-05-19 08:49:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5961348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dranira/pseuds/Dranira
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After spending years on the road, Kikyou is finally called back to Konohagakure to face the demons of her past as well as reconcile with her beloved brother, Gai.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue: Summoning

**Author's Note:**

> For your information, Torn takes place during the beginning of the Naruto anime.
> 
> Since english is not my first language I would very much appreciate critique! I can only improve with your help :)
> 
> And now for the very important disclaimer:
> 
> I do NOT own Naruto - the franchise belongs to Masashi Kishimoto.
> 
> Maito Kikyou and any other character mentioned in this story that does not belong to the Naruto fandom belongs to me and should NOT be used without my permission.

**TORN**

 

**Prologue: Summoning**

 

 

The forest was quiet as thunder rumbled in the distance, almost as if Mother Nature was holding her breath.  
  
Ominous, black clouds were rolling closer across the evening sky, the wind howling as it brushed through the trees and bushes, bringing the storm closer. The air was thick and heavy with the thunderstorm’s energy, just waiting to be released in an explosive display of nature’s own powerful and dangerous fireworks.  
  
The young kunoichi didn’t flinch when the first white flash of lightning danced across the dark sky. She was safely sheltered inside a shallow cave and was enjoying the first thunderstorm of the summer.  
  
She sighed and leaned against the stone wall of the cave, closing her eyes. She had traveled for a very long time and could hardly remember the last time she’d stopped for a longer period of time. Having recently left the Land of Earth and now entered the northwest border of the Land of Fire, her body had reminded her the last few days that despite her impressive stamina, she definitely was not immortal.  
  
“I am tired,” the female shinobi whispered to herself, listening to the sound of the first heavy rain drops hitting the ground. She sighed as she stretched her weary limbs.   
  
There was another flash of lightning and this time it was immediately followed by a loud clap of thunder. The storm was now completely overhead, heavy rain pounding the earth outside.  
  
The young woman opened her eyes and turned her attention to the water bottle placed outside the cave. A lightning bolt lit up the area around the cave, but she didn’t move an inch. Sighing, she reached outside and grabbed the water bottle before taking a swig. She smiled to herself as she relished the taste. Nothing beat pure rain water.  
  
_Another mission accomplished_ , she thought, putting away the water bottle. _I wonder where I’ll end up next time…_  
  
As another loud rumble of thunder boomed across the black sky, the kunoichi tensed up, her right hand instantly flying up to grab the sword that was strapped across her back. Her heart was beating hard inside her chest, her adrenaline pumping.   
  
_Someone’s outside the cave_.  
  
The young woman closed her eyes, focusing on and concentrating her chakra and beginning to send bursts of it toward the hand holding the black, wooden grip of the sword.  
  
When hearing an unexpected voice calling her name, she halted. A broad smile lit up her face when she saw a familiar figure appear in the cave opening.   
  
“It’s nice to see you again, Kikyou,” the masked man said warmly.  
  
She rose to her feet, eager to greet her old friend. “Tenzō!” she cried happily, resisting the urge to throw her arms around his neck and give him a hug.  
  
The tall young man removed his mask, revealing his black, almond-shaped eyes and she was glad to see the smile on his face. “As always, you’re hard to find. It’s been a while, hasn’t it?”  
  
“It has and sorry for giving you trouble finding me,” Kikyou replied. She sat down and motioned for him to sit down next to her, which he did. She eyed her friend closely. “You’ve cut your hair since last time.”  
  
Tenzō chuckled, running a hand through his short brown hair. “Well, long hair can be quite inconvenient, you know?” He pointed a finger suggestively to her head – her raven black hair cascaded down her back and pooled out around her where she sat.  
  
Kikyou laughed, twirling her finger around a strand of her hair. “Yeah, it sure can be…” she then said, her voice trailing off as she began to drift away into her own thoughts. “Papa once told me that girls should have long hair. I haven’t been able to cut it since.”  
  
Tenzō watched her play with the strand of hair, sadness falling over her dainty features as she grew quiet. She was one of the few people he considered as real friends and seeing her like that always made him feel uneasy, mostly because he never knew what to say to comfort her.  
  
Luckily for Tenzō he didn’t have to this time. The awkward silence was abruptly interrupted when Kikyou’s stomach began to rumble loudly.  
  
He couldn’t help but to burst out laughing, relieved the tension had been broken. “It looks like the thunderstorm is not the only thing making a lot of noise tonight!”     
  
“That’s not funny!” Kikyou huffed, her cheeks burning bright red with embarrassment.  
  
Tenzō easily dodged the punch aimed for his head, still laughing. “Okay, I’m sorry,” he said, still laughing while wiping away a few tears.  
  
Kikyou glared at him and he loudly cleared his throat to stifle further laughter. “To be honest, I’m getting quite hungry myself,” he then said, hoping to divert her attention.  
  
It worked.   
  
Her sky blue eyes lit up and she quickly turned around and began to search through her backpack. “I have something for you actually!” she happily declared, her back still turned to him.   
  
He couldn’t help but feel his curiosity being sparked. It wasn’t often he was given presents. Smiling widely, Kikyou placed a little pouch in his hand. He eyed her questioningly before opening it and poured out a little of the contents in the palm of his hand.  
  
“Walnuts?”   
  
Kikyou giggled, eyes sparkling gleefully at his surprised expression. “Yes! They are your favorite, right? I passed through a tiny village a few days ago and bought some, just in case I would run into you soon.”  
  
Tenzō couldn’t help but smile, genuinely happy that she had thought of him. “You’re very kind, Kikyou. Thank you, I appreciate it.”  
  
He didn’t think her smile could grow any wider, but somehow it did and it warmed him deep inside. He watched her turn to rummage through her backpack again and this time she pulled out a loaf of bread and some fruit.  
  
“Share with me?” she invited, ripping the bread into two pieces and offering one half to him. Before Tenzō had time to either accept or decline her offer, Kikyou shoved the bread into his hands and then eagerly bit into her own half.   
  
Tenzō looked at her in amusement and then quietly began to eat as well. They ate in silence, quietly enjoying each other’s company as the thunderstorm continued to rage on outside.   
  
Kikyou took a generous swig from her water bottle, swallowing down the last piece of apple she had just eaten. Sighing contentedly, she leaned back against the cave wall.  
  
“It was nice to finally share a meal with someone,” she then said. “Thank you.”  
  
“I’m the one who should say thank you, but I agree. It was very nice,” Tenzō replied.  
  
Kikyou smiled at him, but then her face turned serious. “I’m guessing that since you’ve come to find me, you have another mission for me, am I right?” she asked, pulling out a scroll from her backpack and handed it to him. “Here is my report from my last mission by the way, please hand it over to the Third Hokage for me.”  
  
Tenzō’s smiled faded away as he accepted the scroll. “Yes…” he finally managed to say.   
  
Kikyou frowned upon looking at her friend’s face. “What?” she asked suspiciously.  
  
Tenzō avoided her eyes and put the scroll into his own backpack along with the pouch of almonds she had given him. “Kikyou…” he began, feeling uneasy. “The Lord Third is summoning you home.”  
  
Kikyou tensed up, her eyes growing wider. “Summoning me… home?” she whispered.   
  
He rose to his feet, giving her a sympathetic look. “I know it’s not what you want, but it’s the Lord Third’s order. He expects you to be back in Konoha within a week.”  
  
Kikyou could only stare at him, her sky blue eyes shining with unshed tears and words she couldn’t bring herself to utter.  
  
Bending down, Tenzō placed a hand on her shoulder and squeezed it comfortingly. “Thank you for the gift, my friend,” he said gently. “Be safe on your journey. I will let your brother know that you’re coming home.”  
  
She couldn’t bring herself to thank him and when she finally found the words to do so, he was long gone. She brought her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them as warm tears began to roll down her cheeks.  
  
Kikyou hadn’t been home for a very long time and while the thought of seeing her brother again was heartwarming, the thought of returning to Konoha was agonizing.  
  
The thunderstorm outside had begun to wind down, but the storm inside her heart was just beginning to stir.   
  
  
  
_To be continued..._


	2. Chapter 1: Kikyou

**TORN**

**Chapter 1: Kikyou**

 

 

“I finally caught you!” the tall, well-built man happily proclaimed, holding a red pouch high up in the air victoriously, his hairy arms covered in bloody scratches.  
  
The cat trapped inside hissed and growled, angrily clawing at the material in a futile attempt to break free from her cotton prison. “Oh no,” he chuckled, eyeing the pouch. “You’re not going anywhere, kitty cat.”  
  
A warm breeze rustled the crowns of the trees in the forest around him and the genin raised his face toward the sky. He closed his eyes, a smile playing on his lips as he enjoyed the warm rays of sunshine upon his features. It was summer and the season had begun wonderfully with warm, sunny days and rain only occurring at night.  
  
_Looks like today will be a good day as well_ , Dai thought.   
  
Maito Dai sighed contently to himself before turning around and then began the short journey back to Konohagakure. His smile grew wider as he thought of this young son, Gai, and he picked up his pace, wanting to get home quickly.  
  
However, a sudden noise made him stop dead in his tracks.   
  
Listening intently, his entire body tensed up as he tried to determine the location of the sound – as well as _what_ was making the sound. “Hello?” Dai called out. “Is anyone there?”  
  
The wind died out, making the forest eerily quiet. Even the trapped cat seemed to calm down despite her imprisonment. Dai felt a chill run down his spine when he heard the sound again and this time he recognized it.  
  
It was the sound of a baby crying.  
  
Dai took off running in the direction of the baby’s cries, tearing through shrubbery and leaping over fallen trees and rocks. He ran as if his life depended on it, ignoring the angry protests from his feline catch. His heart was beating like a sledgehammer inside his chest, the cries sounding so distraught that it made his stomach turn.  
  
After the First Shinobi World War had ended many years ago and peace finally began to settle over the Great Nations, all the shinobi countries were still struggling with the aftermath of the war. The smaller countries were especially vulnerable and the disparities between the different nations were growing larger and more tumultuous as the years passed. The disproportion in capital was one of the major reasons why the Second Shinobi World War finally broke out, but another major cause was that many of the nations were also attempting to expand their territory by military means.   
  
Needless to say, conflict was unavoidable no matter who you were – or where you were at this point in time.  
  
Even though he was close to Konohagakure, Dai was very worried at this point. Nothing good could come from a baby crying in the middle of the woods. It wasn’t unusual for other ninjas, especially rogue ninjas, to enter enemy territory and wreak havoc in this time of turmoil. Perhaps a family accidentally ran into the wrong kind of people?  
  
Dai didn’t even want to think about such an option.  
  
As the cries of the baby grew louder, Dai slowed down and eventually came to a halt. He’d run into a small clearing and from what he could see, nothing seemed out of the ordinary. There was no one there and there were no signs that a battle or struggle had taken place. He was relieved, but at the same time his heart was still beating hard with adrenaline and he had difficulty controlling his breathing.   
  
Leaning over, he rested one hand on his knee, attempting to calm down. “Hello?” he panted. “Is anyone here?”  
  
Again, the baby cried out and Dai swung around, only to face some bushes behind him. Ever so carefully he moved toward them and gently pushed the shrubbery aside.   
  
There, loosely wrapped in a simple white blanket, laid a little baby girl.   
  
For a few seconds all he could do was stare at the infant, at a total loss for words or action, the hand that had gripped the red pouch so tightly suddenly loosening. It dropped to the ground with a gentle thump and opened by the impact. The black cat immediately rushed out, hissing angrily at her captor before she took off running, but Dai had already forgotten about his catch.  
  
Reaching down, he picked the baby up and cradled her in his arms. Dai examined her carefully and quickly realized she must have been born fairly recently.   
  
The baby girl suddenly stopped crying and opened her eyes. Dai gasped as their eyes met and in that second the rest of the world seemed to simply fade away, and all that remained was himself and this little baby.  
  
Seemingly comfortable and somewhat soothed in his arms, she yawned and then fell asleep, tears still clinging to her tiny black eyelashes. Dai stood frozen in place, eyes glued on her. A smile began to grow upon his lips as he felt warmth growing inside his chest. He remembered the first time he held his son, the joy and love he had felt for the newborn boy and all the things he wished for him in that first meeting. Even though this baby had not been born to him, Dai couldn’t help but feel affection for her.   
  
As he admired the baby, a sudden thought hit him. Where was her mother? Dai looked around, but he could see anyone. He wasn’t a sensory ninja, but he liked to think that his own human senses were quite sharp and he couldn’t detect any other presence close to them.   
  
He looked down on the sleeping baby, a sad frown on his face. _Were you abandoned, little one?_ he thought sadly.   
  
Dai looked around one last time to make sure there was no one else in the vicinity before he turned and started to run, as carefully as he could, back to Konohagakure. The baby had seemed unharmed when he examined her, but for all he knew she could be needing medical attention. Also, if she had been abandoned, when had she eaten last?  
  
It was a short run back to Konohagakure, but for Dai that short run felt like hours had passed before he finally ran through the gates and into the village. He ignored the curious stares of some of the villagers and headed directly for the hospital. Kicking the doors open, he rushed inside. “Somebody, please help me!” he cried, running up to the information desk.  
  
A young nurse eyed him angrily as she rose from her seat behind the desk. “Sir, please keep your voice down! This is a hospital!”  
  
Dai glared back at her. “Never mind that! I found a baby outside of the village, I think she’s been abandoned.” He held up the sleeping baby for her to see.  
  
The nurse’s eyes grew large and she ran around the desk and snatched the infant out of his arms. The baby girl instantly woke up and began to scream at the top of her lungs, angry for being so crudely taken from her rescuer’s warm embrace.  
  
It didn’t take long for other nurses and doctors to gather around them, the young nurse handed the child over to one of the doctors and they hurried away.  
  
“Wait!” Dai cried, wanting to follow after them, but the young nurse held him back. “What’s going to happen to her?”  
  
“We’ll examine her and make sure she has everything she needs,” the nurse replied, her tone softer, trying to calm him down.  
  
Dai relaxed and looked at her with worried eyes. “But after that? What will happen to her then?”  
  
“We will contact the proper authorities of course, to see if we can find her birth parents. She will remain her in the hospital until then. Listen, I’m going to contact the Military Police Force, would you mind staying here until they get here? I’m sure they’ll have lots of questions for you.”  
  
“Yes… yes, I’ll stay.”  
  
The nurse smiled at him, a genuine smile, and gave him a comforting pat on the arm. She made a gesture to a padded bench standing next to the wall on the other side of the room. “Please, make yourself comfortable.”  
  
The nurse hurried over to the desk and picked up the phone, calling the Military Police Force. Dai slowly walked over to the bench and slumped down with a deep sigh, suddenly feeling extremely tired and worn out. He leaned back against the wall, closing his eyes.  
  
_What now?_ he thought, a sad frown on his face.

 

* * *

 

Dai reached for the basket of vegetables, picking a couple of peeled carrots and potatoes. He smiled to himself as he grabbed a knife and began to chop the vegetables into chunks. He was cooking curry rice, his son’s favorite dish. His smile grew wider as he heard his children laughing and he looked over his shoulders at the two children sitting on the floor behind him.  
  
Gai was holding his little sister protectively in his tiny arms, his dark eyes shining with love and admiration as he looked at her. The baby girl was reaching her chubby hands up to his face to pat him on the cheeks, giving him a toothless smile. Dai was overjoyed that they were so close already, despite the short time that had passed since she had joined their little family.  
  
A little more than six months had passed since that fateful day when Dai had found her abandoned outside Konohagakure. After he had brought her to the hospital, a thorough investigation had commenced, led by the Konoha Military Police Force, in hopes of finding the child’s birth parents. In the meantime, the baby girl had been kept in the hospital.   
  
Dai had visited her every day, bringing Gai with him, unable to forget the child. From the first moment he had held her in his arms, he had felt a connection to her – a bond welded together by fate.   
  
It hadn’t taken him long to decide to adopt her as his own daughter.   
  
He hated to admit it, but Dai had spent every day wishing her birth parents wouldn’t suddenly appear and come to reclaim her. As awful as it made him feel thinking about it, it was the truth. They had abandoned her in the first place – in his mind they didn’t deserve the beautiful little baby, but he was ready and willing to take her in and love and cherish her throughout her life.  
  
As time had gone on without the investigation getting any closer to being solved, Dai at first had feared that they wouldn’t allow him to adopt the child, especially since he was a single parent. His beloved wife had passed away shortly after their son’s birth and he couldn’t imagine getting married again, not in the nearest future at least.   
  
Ironically, as luck would have it, with the ongoing Second World War, the orphan rate was heartbreakingly high and Konoha’s orphanage was overcrowded. So when the Military Police Force wasn’t able to solve the abandoned baby’s case, and because of this it was consequently closed, Dai’s request to adopt her had been accepted.  
  
Dai had been ecstatic and he thought of the day when he was allowed to take the baby girl home from the hospital as one of the two greatest days of his life. The other of course being when his son Gai had been born.  
  
He had decided to name her Kikyou.

 

* * *

 

 

The female kunoichi came to a stop in front of the two giant green gates of Konohagakure in front of her. They were open – welcoming her in – but she stood frozen before them, trembling like a leaf.  
  
“I’m home…” Kikyou whispered to herself, her sky blue eyes shining with unshed tears.  
  


  
_To be continued..._


	3. Chapter 2: Konohagakure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The part with the blonde haired boy (also known as Naruto...) is taken from Shippuden episode 177 (Iruka's Trials). I think it may have been part of another episode as well, but I can't remember. Of course the scene has been modified to fit Kikyou into it. I kept the dialogue as close to the episode as possible, so I can't take credit for that.

**TORN**

**Chapter 2: Konohagakure**

 

 

“It’s too hot,” Hagane Kotetsu complained, wiping sweat away from his brow while fanning himself with a small stack of papers.  
  
His partner and best friend Kamizuki Izumo side-eyed him from his seat next to him. “I know, that’s the third time you’ve said that already,” he replied, annoyed.  
  
“Yeah, well it’s the truth,” Kotetsu retorted, leaning back in his own seat. It was another hot, sunny day in Konohagakure and usually the two Village Gate Guards wouldn’t complain if things hadn’t been so calm lately. Kotetsu closed his dark eyes and sighed loudly, continuing to fan himself. To put it bluntly, they were bored out of their minds by the lack of activity.  
  
“Hey, look at that!”  
  
Startled by Izumo’s voice, Kotetsu’s eyes flew open, glancing first at his partner and then followed his hand pointing toward the gates – or rather the person entering the gates at that moment. His eyes grew larger and his mouth fell open as the visitor noticed them and began to walk toward them.  
  
“Hey, isn’t that…?” he said slowly, his voice trailing off at the end.  
  
Kikyou smiled at the surprised look on her old classmates’ faces and raised her right hand to greet them as she stopped in front of their desk.  
  
“Long time no see, Kotetsu, Izumo,” she said. “The both of you look well.”  
  
“Maito Kikyou!” Izumo greeted the female jonin with a bright smile, rising from his chair. “It’s good to see you! How long has it been since last time?”  
  
As Kotetsu also rose from his chair, Kikyou realized – much to her chagrin – that she was still taller than the two of them. “Hm, I think it’s been four or maybe five years since I was home last,” she contemplated, tapping a finger against her chin.  
  
“What brings you home now?” Kotetsu asked, genuinely curious.  
  
Kikyou frowned, her sky blue eyes narrowing irately. “To be honest, I’m not quite sure. All I know is that I was summoned home by the Lord Third.”  
  
The two chunin were a bit taken aback by the sudden change in her tone and expression. Noticing this, Kikyou forced a smile to ease the tension.  
  
“I’m sorry,” she apologized, sighing deeply. “It’s been a long journey and I’m very tired.”  
  
Kotetsu waved it off with a smile, relieved the sudden tension had been broken. “Don’t worry about it. Go home and get some rest, okay?”  
  
Kikyou gave them both a grateful nod. “I will, thanks,” she said before turning on her heel, leaving the two Chunin behind and began to head down Konohagakure’s main road.  
  
The village of Konohagakure resided within a deep forest, surrounded by mountainous terrain. The heart of the village laid next to the base of the mountain, which became known as the Hokage Rock during the early establishment of Konohagakure a long time ago. The main road went straight through the rural community, dividing the oval-shaped village into two halves, and ended at the mountain monument.  
  
The outskirts of the village were not nearly as populated as the center and the forest was thicker, although it made for beautiful scenery. She passed the various clan compounds that rested along the way, varying in size and opulence. It didn’t take long before the Hokage Rock emerged in the distance and as Kikyou came closer to the center of the village, the bustling sounds of the many shops and restaurants nearby began to reach her ears.  
  
Kikyou grinned. _Well, at least nothing seems to have changed around here…_ she thought as she looked around at the many familiar places, in a futile attempt to comfort herself. The anxiety in her stomach wouldn’t let up though.  
  
Twelve years ago the village had been nearly completely destroyed by the Nine-Tails being unleashed, leaving unspeakable loss of life behind in its wake. Kikyou had been twelve years old herself at that time and in all honesty, she couldn’t remember what the village had looked like before the attack. Kikyou felt a shiver run down her spine when she thought of that horrible day. A newly appointed Chunin at the time, she had been brought along with her brother and many other young shinobi to a secure place outside the village, where they were confined for their own safety.  
  
As much as she hated to admit it, she was relieved that she hadn’t been involved in the incident too much. The aftermath had been difficult enough to deal with without having to see the calamity first-hand anyway.  
  
Kikyou stopped as she noticed a blonde-haired boy admiring some animal masks neatly displayed on a rack inside one of the shops along the street. She couldn’t help but smile upon seeing his bright blue eyes sparkling at a white and red mask that resembled a cat’s face, his entire face lighting up in childish excitement.  
  
She turned around, ready to continue on her way, when she suddenly heard an angry male voice call out behind her.  
  
“Go away!”  
  
As Kikyou spun around, she saw a middle-aged man she assumed was the shop owner, violently shove the blonde-haired boy out from the store and into the open street. The child landed hard on the ground, a cloud of dust rising around him from the impact.  
  
The boy sat up and glared at the store owner. “What’s the big idea?!” he yelled indignantly.  
  
The sudden commotion had brought curious people closer, and before Kikyou knew it, the boy and the man was surrounded. She was dismayed to see how the men and women whispered among themselves, some of them even sneering at the scene.  
  
“What are you doing here, you brat?!” the store owner shouted, raising his fist aggressively.  
  
He young boy seemed taken aback by the man’s anger. “What? I was only… I was only looking at the masks,” he said slowly, his voice trembling at the end.  
  
Watching the scene unfold before her, Kikyou felt sick to her stomach. A flashback of a similar scene that had taken place years ago played before her eyes – where her younger self was crying on the ground and two older boys were making fun of her. She was snapped back to reality as the man walked up to the rack and grabbed the mask the boy had been looking at.  
  
“You want this?! Well, you can have it. Now get lost!” the man screamed. Without hesitation, he threw the mask in the boy’s face.  
  
Kikyou had enough. Pushing herself through the crowd, she stepped between the boy and the store owner. “What kind of man does that to a child?” she said calmly, but her voice was laced with seething anger.  
  
The middle-aged man was surprised by her sudden interference, but he quickly straightened himself before her, puffing out his chest in defiance. “Why do you care? It’s none of your business!”  
  
“I was watching the entire time. The boy did nothing to deserve the treatment you gave him,” Kikyou replied, eyes deadly serious. Her right hand slowly moved up to grab the handle of the sword she carried across her back. “I’m even willing to call it assault.”  
  
Upon seeing her movement, the man instantly backed off, face turning white as a sheet. He quickly disappeared inside his shop without speaking another word.  
  
_Coward_ , Kikyou thought as she released her grip on the sword’s handle. As she turned around to make sure the child was alright, the crowd of people began to disperse, having lost interest when the argument was over, but he was nowhere to be seen.  
  
_He must have slipped away_ , she thought while looking around for the blonde-haired boy. Sighing deeply, the jonin decided to continue on her way.  
  
After all, the Third Hokage was waiting for her.   
  
  


* * *

  
  
The administration building was unusually quiet as Kikyou walked down the hallway, especially since the green carpet muffled the sounds of her footsteps. It was so quiet that she could almost hear her own heartbeat, which was beating rapidly inside her chest.  
  
_Calm down, calm down…what’s the worst that can happen?_ she thought as she came to a halt in front of two large wooden doors, behind was the Third Hokage’s office. In all honesty she knew very well what her worst case scenario was and somehow she had an awful feeling that was exactly what was awaiting her behind the doors.  
  
Drawing a deep breath, trying to calm herself, Kikyou raised her closed fist and knocked. Immediately there was a response from the inside.  
  
“Come in,” a deep but gentle and all too familiar voice called out.  
  
Pushing the doors open, she stepped inside the spacious office of the Hokage. The room’s floor was made of stone and the walls were painted in a warm tone of beige with wooden skirting boards and cornices along the floor and roof of the room. The office was sparsely but elegantly decorated with scrolls with various words of wisdom hanging on the walls.  
  
Kikyou took three steps inside the room and knelt down on the stone floor.  
  
“I have returned, Lord Third,” she said before bowing respectfully. Looking up toward the end of the room, there was a wooden platform, decorated with red and yellow carpets. Sitting atop the platform was Sarutobi Hiruzen, one of the most powerful shinobi of all time and the current Hokage of Konohagakure.  
  
Surrounded by books and scrolls, he was busy writing. Kikyou remained silent until he finally placed the brush on the low desk in front of him and turned to face her. She couldn’t help but notice how much he seemed to have aged in the years she had been absent from the village.  
  
Hiruzen smiled as their eyes met. “Welcome home, Kikyou,” he said warmly, resting his strong hands on his knees, as he looked her over. “I’m glad to see you haven’t changed much. You look well.”  
  
Kikyou smiled back at him. “Thank you… and no, I suppose I haven’t,” she replied. A somber expression then fell over her dainty features. “You sent for me, Lord Third. How can I be of service?”  
  
The smile faded from Hiruzen’s lips as he turned around, reaching for an object behind him. Placing an orbuculum into his lap, his eyes met Kikyou’s once again. “I believe you remember this?” he asked, gesturing toward the crystal ball.  
  
Kikyou nodded. “Of course – the Crystal Ball Jutsu.”   
  
Because of the orbuculum’s unparalleled tracking ability, it was possible to locate someone simply by knowing that person’s chakra pattern, no matter the distance. This jutsu was known as the Telescope Technique. Although its relatively straightforward purpose, the Crystal Ball Jutsu was a very rare and equally difficult jutsu to perform, so the number of shinobi actually using this jutsu was very low.  
  
“Because of the Telescope Technique, I’ve been able to keep track of you during your time outside the village,” Hiruzen said, absentmindedly running his fingers over the smooth crystal surface. “That was the agreement.”  
  
Kikyou bit her lip, the anxiety beginning to grip her. She did not like where the conversation was going. “Lord Third…” she said slowly. “Have I failed you? Are you not pleased with my contributions as a spy?”  
  
“Not at all. On the contrary, you’ve provided us with very valuable and useful information on the different nations during these years.”  
  
Kikyou’s brows furrowed in confusion. “Then why…?”  
  
Hiruzen smiled sadly at her. “Kikyou… I still remember the day your brother came to me, begging me to allow you to leave Konohagakure for the sake of your well-being. At the time, I believed it would help you and so I agreed. But… as I’ve kept a close eye on you during this time, I’ve come to realize that allowing you to leave was a mistake on my part.”  
  
“Lord Third… please…” Kikyou stuttered, eyes opening wide as she realized what he was about to say. “I’m of more use to you outside of Konohagakure. I swear to you, I will dedicate my life to keep the village safe from the outside.”  
  
“No, you will not,” the Hokage said, his voice turning serious. “Having been on the outside for this amount of time, you of all people must know how troubled our world is. I pray it will not happen, but even war does unfortunately not seem unlikely at this time. Therefore, you are needed here in Konoha, where you belong.”    
  
Unable to answer him, Kikyou felt the blood rushing to her head, the pounding of her own heartbeat echoing loudly in her ears. She felt sick to her stomach and the knee she was leaning on began to tremble. Feeling the Hokage’s eyes on her, expecting her response, she drew a deep, silent breath to steel herself.  
  
“Yes, Lord Third,” she then said, her voice barely a whisper. “I will do as commanded.”  
  
Hiruzen nodded in approval. “Good. That will be all for now,” he said, this time with a gentle tone. “Take some time to rest and reacquaint yourself with the village and the people.”  
  
Nodding, Kikyou shakily rose to her feet. She bowed deeply before him again before turning her back and moving towards the doors. As she was about to push the doors open, Hiruzen’s voice rang out behind her.  
  
“Kikyou, why did you want to become a shinobi?”  
  
Turning around, she looked at the Hokage, a bewildered look on her face. His dark brown eyes locked with hers and for a second it felt like he was looking into her very soul. Her mouth opened, but no words would come out as she struggled to find the answer. Instead, she pushed the doors open and quietly left the room.  
  
As Kikyou quickly headed down the corridor for the exit, heart racing inside her chest, the Third Hokage’s question echoed inside her mind. The reason why she couldn’t respond to his question was very simple.   
  
She didn’t know the answer.

 

_To be continued…_


	4. Chapter 3: Homecoming

**TORN**

**Chapter 3: Homecoming**

 

 

Kikyou walked like she was in a daze, the otherwise short walk from the Hokage Office to the apartment complex where she and her brother shared an apartment somehow felt endlessly long. The female jonin didn’t register the voices of people walking by or the laughter of children running past her, it was all a blur.

 

Before long, the six story apartment building emerged in front of her, a white curtain decorated with the bright red symbol of Konohagakure proudly hung above the entrance. The entrance door had been left open, presumably to allow fresh air into the hallways. The lobby was fairly simple with its gray concrete floors and walls that had been painted white.

 

Kikyou stopped in front of the bank of metal mailboxes stationed against the wall on the left side of the entrance, her fingers tracing the fourth row until she reached the one that said _Maito_. She couldn’t help but smile as she opened the unlocked box, reaching in to grab the few scrolls that rested there.

 

 _I guess some things never change_ , she thought as she made her way down the hall over to the staircase. Her brother never did bother to lock anything.

 

The apartment building was a large one, with its six stories and forty apartments, and had been constructed after the Nine Tails’ attack on Konohagakure. At that time, Kikyou and her brother had still been living in their childhood home on the outskirts of the village, but even though the house had survived the attack, it was much too run down for the two children to handle alone. So her brother had moved them both into this apartment building shortly after it was made available for habitants and they had lived here ever since.

 

 _Well, at least I did before I left…_ she thought somberly as she walked up the last staircase to the fourth floor, where their apartment was situated at the end of the hallway.

 

Not bothering to reach for the key deep down in her bag, Kikyou reached for the door handle, hesitating slightly before finally twisting it open. As she suspected, it was unlocked. There was a slight creek as the unlocked wooden door opened and then closed behind her as she stepped inside the genkan of their apartment. Kikyou drew a shaky breath, leaning with her back pressed against the door, as she was hit by the familiar scent of the apartment she shared with her brother. For a moment it felt like she had stepped back in time and it was overwhelming. Sliding her backpack off her shoulder, she leaned down to remove her shoes and then neatly placed them to the side.

 

Backpack in hand she stepped into the hallway, the wooden floor cool and smooth underneath her bare feet. On the immediate right were the toilet and bathroom. Like in most Japanese houses and apartments, the toilet was separated in its own little room and had a sink built into the top of it. The bathroom consisted of two rooms; an entrance for undressing, equipped with an old washing machine and then the actual bathroom equipped with a shower and a deep bath tub.

 

On the left were the two separate bedrooms. Kikyou hesitated for a second as she passed the door to her old room, but then continued into the joint kitchen and living room. The tatami mats crunched lightly as she stepped on them over to the round chabudai standing in the middle of the room. Leaning down she placed the scrolls on the short-legged table before heading over to the sink.

 

Kikyou reached up to one of the cupboards above the sink for a glass and poured herself a glass of cold water. Turning around, she leaned back against the counter and overlooked the room.

 

A small TV set stood in the corner of the room, the amount of dust that had collected on top of it spoke of how little it was actually being used. _Why did we ever get that thing in the first place?_ Kikyou thought, raising an eyebrow as she took a swig of the water. _We never used it._

 

She was surprised at how clean the apartment was though. Unlike herself, her brother had always been messy and not one to favor cleaning. The all too familiar knot of anxiety twisted in her stomach. _Did he clean just for me?_

 

Emptying the glass with another swig, she placed it in the sink and headed back to the bedrooms. With a deep sigh she entered her old bedroom, bracing herself for the potentially musty smell of the room, after not being used for several years.

 

However, she could not have been more wrong. Wide-eyed and in awe, Kikyou stepped into her bedroom. Her backpack dropped to the floor with a heavy thump.

 

The room was pristine.

 

The double door window at the other end of the room had been left open and the old flower-patterned curtains she remembered had been changed into new white ones that swayed gently in the wind. From wall to wall underneath the window, there was a built-in sideboard that held framed pictures and old books she recognized, but new plants had been added to make the room more cozy. Kikyou walked over to the bed in the left corner and sat down on it. The mattress was firmer than she remembered, so it had to be new. The grey bedspread was also new and it was the same with the pillows, comforter and bedding.

 

Looking over to the other side of the room, there was her old wooden desk and chair, but it was the very large, colorful box standing on top of it that caught her attention.

 

Kikyou slowly approached it, almost as if she expected something to jump out from it and bite her. With shaky fingers she picked up the card lying atop of the box, the words _WELCOME HOME!_ printed on the front in bright, bold lettering. Kikyou bit her lip as she turned the card in her hand and read its content.

 

_To my beloved sister! Please forgive me for not being here to give you a proper welcome home, but I’ve been sent on an important mission. I will try to return home as soon as possible, but until then I hope you enjoy the gifts. Your brother, Gai._

 

Ever so slowly she put the card down on the desk and then moved her hands up to grab the top of the box. Cautiously she removed the lid, placing it on the desk, her eyes widening at the sight of its content. Slowly her hands reached down to pick up a light pink kimono, the fabric light and soft against her fingers. As she rummaged through the rest of the contents she realized that not only had Gai touched up her room, he had also bought her new clothes.

 

Before she left Konohagakure, she had discarded most of her clothing since she hadn’t planned on returning in the first place. _He did all of this… for me?_ Kikyou thought, pressing the pink kimono tightly to her chest as tears formed in her eyes. She couldn’t help but smile, deeply and genuinely touched by her brother’s kindness.

 

* * *

 

 

A few hours later, Kikyou had unpacked her things and taken a long, hot bath. She couldn’t help but smile to herself as she sat on her bed, combing her long raven hair, still damp from the bath. The white robe she wore was another gift from her brother and it was soft and cool against her warm skin. As much as she didn’t want to admit it, she felt wonderful.

 

Rising from the bed, she then changed into the pink kimono, tightly securing it with a purple obi before turning to look into the full-length mirror standing by the dresser. The kimono was without a pattern, but Kikyou found it elegant in its simplicity. As she was a woman who preferred not to stand out in a crowd, it suited her personality perfectly.

 

After she was done admiring herself, Kikyou wandered into the kitchen. Peering into the refrigerator and realizing it was almost empty, she let out a tired sigh. “I’m starving,” she moaned as she closed the refrigerator door.

 

Returning to her room, she grabbed her tiny purse and tucked it safely into her obi along with a kunai before heading to the genkan. “I really need to buy another pair of shoes,” she murmured as she slipped on her worn out black shinobi sandals. Not bothering to lock the door, she headed outside.

 

The sun had begun to set, the sky brightly painted in orange, pink and yellow, and the streets of Konohagakure were bustling with activity. Housewives who had picked up their children at the Academy headed to the supermarket to prepare for dinner, while the single shinobi began to gather at the different bars and restaurants to relax after a hard day’s work.

 

Kikyou couldn’t help the smile that tugged on her lips as she watched the people of the village smiling, their happy voices and laughter echoing throughout the streets. _I forgot how warm this place is_ , she thought, suddenly feeling sentimental.

 

After making a quick but rather expensive visit to the shoe store, Kikyou continued her walk through the heart of the village, trying to decide where she’d have her dinner.

 

She suddenly frowned, a deep sigh emerging from her mouth.

 

 _Just what I need…_ she thought, exasperated. Kikyou was not a sensory type ninja, but she prided herself in having excellent human senses. Therefore, it didn’t take her long to realize she was being followed. Steeling herself, a dark shadow flew across her face as her free hand reached into her obi for the kunai. 

 

 

_To be continued…_


	5. Chapter 4: New Acquaintances

**TORN**

**Chapter 4: New Acquaintances**

 

 

The blonde boy peered out behind a trash can, his blue eyes fixated on the young woman with the long, black hair walking in front of him out on the busy main street. He’d first seen her enter the shoe store and after recognizing her as the woman who had interfered when he was attacked by the shopkeeper earlier that day, he had decided to follow her.

 

The young woman’s face was unknown to him, yet she had been the only one to stand up for him in his moment of need, one of the very few people to actually care about him for as long as he could remember. He was curious, _desperate_ to know more about her. Who was she? Where did she come from?

 

He watched as she made a left turn into an alleyway and instantly followed her, pressing his back against the wall as he glanced around the corner, but she was nowhere to be seen. Stunned by her sudden disappearance he rushed into the alleyway to search for her. _Where did she…_

 

The boy never had time to finish his thought as a sudden gust of wind blew from behind and before he knew it, he felt the cold steel of a kunai resting just inches away from his neek. He instantly froze as a female voice spoke from directly behind him.

 

“Listen, kid. I don’t know what you want from me, but I don’t particularly like being followed.”

 

Still frozen, the child couldn’t bring himself to say a word, a bead of sweat beginning to trickle from his temple and down his cheek. As inexperienced as he was, while only a student in the Academy, he could still sense that if she wanted to, she could end his life with ease and the thought was absolutely terrifying.

 

He wasn’t sure how much time passed, but upon hearing her draw a deep, exasperated sigh he relaxed somewhat. The intimidating aura she had emanated suddenly vanished and he felt her retract the kunai. Spinning around, he watched her back as she began to walk away from him.

 

“Wait!” he cried out.

 

She stopped and glanced back at him, strands of black hair falling over her shoulder. “What?” she asked, frowning.

 

The boy blushed and looked down, shuffling his feet in the dirt. “I just… I just wanted to say… thank you. For helping me earlier.” Peeking up, he met her eyes. She seemed surprised, the frown fading from her features as her posture relaxed.

 

“You’re welcome,” she finally said with a smile, her voice now warm.

 

The blonde boy’s blue eyes instantly lit up and he ran up to her. “What’s your name, Nee-chan?” he asked, a wide smile on his lips, eager to grab on to this unexpected, kind gesture while he had the chance.

 

“Maito Kikyou. What’s yours?”

 

“Uzumaki! Uzumaki Naruto!” He was so excited at having her attention that he never noticed her react upon hearing his name.

 

“I see,” she then said slowly. “Well, it’s nice to meet you, Naruto.”

 

Kikyou turned to leave and headed out into the street again, but she quickly realized she wouldn’t be left alone just yet, hearing his running footsteps behind her and surely, soon he was by her side once more.

 

“Hey, Nee-chan,” Naruto beamed as he looked up at the much taller woman. “Are you from Konohagakure? I don’t recognize you.”

 

“Well…” Kikyou began, not too keen on discussing the subject. “I am, but I’ve been away for a few years. I just got back today.”

 

“So you’re a shinobi?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“What’s your rank?”

 

Kikyou drew a deep breath, already regretting engaging the child in conversation. “I’m a jonin.”

 

“Cool,” the boy said, his eyes practically sparkling with admiration.

 

Shooting him a quick glance, Kikyou couldn’t help the smile that tugged at the corners’ of her mouth. She had to admit to herself that he was kind of cute. “Since you’re not wearing a forehead protector, I’m guessing you’re still in the Academy?”

 

When she never got a reply she stopped in her tracks. Turning around she noticed that he had halted outside of a small restaurant, his eyes glued to it almost as if in a trance.

 

“Ichiraku Ramen, huh…” she murmured as she joined Naruto’s side. “It’s been a while.”

 

Kikyou barely had time to finish her sentence before Naruto’s stomach growled loudly, taking her by surprise. Looking down on the boy she couldn’t help but burst into laughter at the mortified look on his face.

 

“Don’t laugh at me!” Naruto cried indignantly, cheeks burning bright red as he tried to swing at her.

 

Kikyou held her hands up in mock defeat, her shopping bags dangling from them as she dodged his blows with ease. “I yield!” she laughed, wiping a tear away from the corner of her eye as Naruto glared at her with arms crossed angrily across his small chest. “I’m sorry, okay?” she finally said, trying hard to repress her laughter.

 

“Hmpf,” he pouted, still blushing.

 

“If you’re that hungry, maybe you should go home?”

 

Naruto averted his eyes to the ground, his feet shuffling in the dirt. “I don’t have any food at home,” he finally whispered, barely loud enough so that she could hear him.

 

Kikyou raised an eyebrow. “Well then, don’t you have any money?”

 

The blush on his face grew deeper as he only shook his head in reply, too ashamed to speak the words.

 

Kikyou couldn’t help but feel sorry for him. _From what I can remember, this child is an orphan…_ she thought, feeling a cold knot in her stomach when she thought back to how the store owner had treated Naruto earlier. _I wonder if that’s how everyone in the village treats him…_

 

She clicked her tongue, silently cursing herself for feeling concerned about a child she hardly knew. He was none of her business, there was no reason for her to care about his wellbeing. _But…_ when she looked at his small frame she could help but be reminded of herself when she was younger, the sadness in his eyes feeling all too familiar. After she and her brother became orphans at a young age, they too had struggled to feed themselves on a daily basis and they both had been forced to learn just how little care actually existed for the orphaned children of Konohagakure.

 

_I’m getting soft…_ she thought, closing her eyes while pinching the bridge of her nose with her thumb and index finger. _Maybe it’s because I’m getting older? Oh well…_ Opening her eyes, she placed her hands on her hips, turned to Naruto and smiled. “Hey, kid. Want to join me for dinner?”

 

Naruto looked up at her in surprise. “You mean it?” he said breathlessly, almost as if he couldn’t believe what she’d just said. His bright blue eyes lit up for just a second, before suddenly turning dull again at a sudden realization. “But… I don’t have any money…”

 

Bending down, Kikyou gently flicked her finger against his forehead playfully. “My treat – to celebrate making a new friend. How does that sound?”

 

For a moment, the blonde boy only stared back at her, mouth slightly open, but it didn’t take long before the sparkle returned to his eyes. His smile grew so wide she feared his little face would crack. Parting the curtains, she gestured for him to enter first. “After you.”

 

Kikyou hardly had time to finish her sentence, before Naruto had burst into the small restaurant and jumped up on one of the free chairs by the counter.

 

“Welcome!” a familiar and kind voice boomed from the back room and soon Teuchi’s smiling face came into sight as Kikyou took a seat next to Naruto. “Well, if it isn’t Naruto?”

 

“Hi, Teuchi-ossan!” Naruto greeted.

 

Kikyou bowed her head slightly as the ramen chef turned his attention to her. “Hello, Teuchi-san, it’s been a while.”

 

Teuchi stared at her in silence for a few seconds. “Wait a minute… are you… Maito Kikyou?”

 

“Of course she is,” a female voice called out from behind him before Kikyou could reply and soon he was joined by his young daughter, Ayame. The brunette leaned over the counter with a smile. “How long has it been?”

 

“Why, Ayame-chan! You’ve grown up so beautiful,” Kikyou breathed, admiring the beautiful young woman. “To answer your question it’s been… let’s see… around four, five years I think?”

 

Ayame blushed graciously at the older woman’s praise. “Well then it’s about time you came home!” she then said cheerfully. “Now, what can we get you two?”

 

Kikyou turned to Naruto as she reached for a pair of chopsticks. “What are you getting?”

 

Naruto grinned at her. “That’s easy! A large miso char siu with a boiled egg and naruto fishcake!”

 

“Sounds good to me. I’ll have the same, please.”

 

“Coming right up!” Teuchi said happily.

 

* * *

 

 

Later that evening, while standing in front of the full-length mirror in her bedroom, Kikyou still thought of her “dinner date” with Naruto. The geniunely happy and grateful look on his face as they had parted lingered in her mind. She smiled as she pulled all her hair over to one side and draped it over her shoulder. Reaching for the brush resting on her desk, she began to comb through her long raven locks.

 

_Next time, I’ll buy you dinner, Kikyou-nee-chan!_

 

Kikyou chuckled to herself. “Next time, huh…” she said softly as she turned her back to the mirror and begun to undress. As the kimono slid down her shoulders, she caught a glimpse of her reflection in the mirror and she froze. Her sky blue eyes glued to the long and large scar that ran from just below her right shoulder, down her back and then ended at her left hip. The injury was almost six years old, but the scar hadn’t faded entirely nor completely flattened yet and still an angry pink in color.

 

A clap of thunder could be heard in the distance and Kikyou flipped her hair back with a deep sigh. Even if the wound had healed, she couldn’t deny that the scar still hurt to look at. She quickly changed into her nightgown and slipped into bed, dousing the lights.

 

With the approaching thunderstorm, darkness began to fall over her room as she lay still, listening to the sound of raindrops hitting against the window. _I really hate the darkness_ , she thought. _It only brings back bad memories_. Feeling the anxiety creep up on her, she pulled the cover over her head as warm tears burned behind her tightly closed eyes.

 

Another loud clap of thunder boomed, quickly followed by a flash of lightning as she began to drift away into a deep sleep.

 

 

 

_To be continued…_


End file.
